The Cutler Maturity Show has jumped the shark

June 18th, 2014 - 2:30 pm

That’s it. I’ve had it. I’m done with this show. I’ve never cared enough about the dramatics to emotionally invest myself, anyway, but I always followed from afar.

The plot has run its course. The mystery is nonexistent. All discussion from critics is both repetitive and mentally exhaustive.

No, I’m not talking about (insert your least favorite TV show here). I’m talking about The Cutler Maturity Show. You know, the one where viewers tune in and watch the drama unfold and wonder whether Bears quarterback Jay Cutler will return to the prima donna he was when the Bears acquired the Pro Bowl quarterback in a 2009 trade with the Denver Broncos, or the angry curmudgeon who got physically assaulted behind a terrible Bears offensive line in the first couple years that followed.

I’ve removed my DVR scheduling for The Cutler Maturity Show and I’m hoping and praying they take the show out of the media as soon as possible.

Every television show has a jump the shark moment, and while I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment when the The Cutler Maturity Show hit its shark, the storyline is most definitely played out at this point.

Chicago Tribune’s David Haugh wrote a piece about Cutler, saying: “He sounded like a guy who finally understood watching hours of videotape isn’t as valuable for a starting quarterback as taking a long, hard look at himself.”

Note: Haugh wasn’t talking about Cutler looking at his mechanics and trying to improve physically. He was saying it was actually more important for Cutler to improve his media social skills than study opponents’ game film.

And for that comment, Haugh’s a fool.

In another piece on ESPN.com, Jon Greenberg writes: “So get ready for a new year of Jay Cutler mind-reading, body-language speculating, performance pontificating. He’s got a new contract, at least $50 million or so guaranteed, and Cutler will be the topic of 72.4 percent of sports conversations from August through January. ‚Ķ His facial expressions account for 18 percent of that estimate.”

Read that paragraph a few times. Doesn’t that humor lack the luster it once had? It doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as it used to. Do you know why? Because¬†The Cutler Maturity Show creative writing team has run out of new material to script and they’re reverting to tired, played-out jokes.

Just one more reason why the show has “jumped the shark.”

Let’s move to another publication in town, the Sun-Times, where veteran sports columnist Rick Telander writes: “Cutler has the physical skills. It’s those intangibles that mean everything. If Cutler doesn’t have his teammates, he’s got nothing. If he’s an immature smart ass, he’s got nothing.”

Talk about one of the show’s critics who is out of touch with reality.

While Telander’s statement in and of itself is true — that if a quarterback doesn’t have his teammates, he’s got nothing — what Telander doesn’t understand is that Cutler’s teammates, at least for the last three years, have more than had his back. Year in and year out, Cutler has been elected — by teammates — as a captain. And his teammates have nothing but positive things to say about Cutler.

What Cutler never had was good media skills because he just didn’t like those who were asking the questions. And who can blame Cutler? They media is composed of self-righteous, arrogant men who are emboldened by a badge that gives them free access to a locker room, and they feel entitled to know everything that goes on within the walls of a professional sports organization.

The media is getting to a point where they’re running out of story ideas, so they’re reverting to old favorites. This whole Cutler personality story line is getting old and out of hand. The media is beating a dead horse by monitoring his facial expressions and body language.

It’s been done. It’s getting old. It’s played out. I’m switching to a new hit show that’s coming to the Chicago market. It’s the one that sees a happy Cutler prove his haters wrong by taking the Bears to the Super Bowl.

Series Premiere: Fall of 2014.