I’ve been a fan of The Simpsons since way back. And that show has covered a lot in nearly four decades.
And as such, I have a lot of useless television and movie references in my head, so I’ll beg your pardon if I provide one right now that aptly analogizes the current state of the Chicago Bears rebuild.
In season nine of the show, there’s an episode called “King of the Hill” where Homer attempts to climb “The Murderhorn,” a ridiculously tall mountain in Springfield.
As Homer slowly works his way up the mountain, he reaches the point of exhaustion where he thinks he’s arrived at the top.
Except, he didn’t. He lifts his tired head toward the sky, sees the mountain continue to ascend through the clouds, and lets out a boisterous, “Awww crap!” before hanging his head in defeat.
“It just keeps going,” he sobs.
Bears fans… I am Homer Simpson right now. I have climbed this mountainous Bears rebuild as both a fan and analyst, basically since the 2006 Super Bowl team but truthfully since the 1990s.
I’m like Homer with my exhaustion and fear of a never-ending rebuild. (That, and I eat too many donuts and don’t want to get out of bed on Sunday mornings. But I digress.)
This is tough to stomach, even for a perpetual optimist like myself.
Yes, I realize we are only two games into the Ben Johnson era. And I know the Lions are still a very good team — the jury is still out on Minnesota. Rebuilds and new coach implementations are supposed to take time.
But I was hoping for more from a Johnson-led team out of the gates, and I was simply let down.
I posted on X on Sunday that I never thought I’d see a blowout loss from a Johnson team, given the coach’s propensity to orchestrate a skilled offensive game plan. But in Sunday’s 52-21 embarrassing defeat to the rival Lions, that train unexpectedly arrived at the station regardless.
It’s not as if Johnson hasn’t had his impact just yet. Despite the 0-2 record, the Bears are in the middle of the pack in both yards and points. For a brand new implementation in a city that is never good on offense, that’s a fine start.
It’s the defense that is alarming.
The Bears defense is fifth-worst in the NFL in yards allowed per game and — yep, you guessed it — dead last in points per game allowed.
I realize that the Bears have missed the services of Jaylon Johnson, Kyler Gordon, and T.J. Edwards for the majority of the last two games. Still, I was expecting — or at least hoping for — better defensive production out of Dennis Allen’s system.
I have concerns about Caleb, to be sure. Thus far in his career, he has not been as advertised. Still, he is on the path to being the best quarterback in franchise history, even if he only marginally improves the rest of his career.
But I don’t expect marginal improvement. I have hopes that Johnson can still get the best out of him and grow him into a top 10 signal caller.
It starts with better protection. And sadly, the Bears still look deficient in that area.
After all the hoopla this offseason regarding their three big additions in the middle of the offensive line, there are still major concerns with protecting Williams and opening run lanes for the backs.
Outside Joe Thuney, every offensive lineman looks worse than expected.
Darnell Wright’s blocking has been okay but he keeps committing penalties — even phantom ones. Braxton Jones continues to succumb to the bull rush. Jonah Jackson has been the worst of the bunch. I can see why the Rams weren’t in a rush to get him back into the lineup last year.
The biggest disappointment might be Drew Dalman. The veteran center is still an upgrade over what the Bears have had the past several years. But his overall play, including allowing pressure right up the middle on Williams, has been discouraging.
I don’t know how this ride gets that much better this season. You just hope the crazy train doesn’t go off the rails. I’m not a prognosticator so if the team regrouped and had a competitive stretch down the line, I wouldn’t mind eating crow.
But you just have a sense of what this team is, and, unfortunately, it’s just not the playoff competitor I had a pipe dream about this offseason.
